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Why awareness days matter…and how you can get involved…

Over recent years, there seems to have been an increasing number of awareness days.

These days generate interest around various issues and charities that may not always receive much attention. This month is one of those months where there are so many awareness days and weeks (focusing on some very important topics) that it is hard to know where to start!

When there’s so much going on, it’s worth asking why we bother having awareness days in the first place.

There can be many reasons, but broadly speaking these awareness days, weeks and months are a positive way of….
  • encouraging conversation. This helps people to feel more comfortable talking about their personal difficulties.
  • encouraging people who are struggling with various issues to seek the relevant support. Isolation can be one of the worst things when we’re facing challenges in our lives. Many visitors to the Hub come here to find a space in community where they can share their burdens and find support.
  • inspiring action. Better conversations mean we can find ways of moving forwards and working together to change our communities.
What we’re doing…

Here at the Hub, we use our events, blog and social media posts to focus on a specific topic of awareness each month.

We want to start conversations around many of the needs within our community that are often unseen. Harrogate can be a hard place to talk about our personal difficulties, because of the town’s reputation as a place of wealth, health, and wellbeing. Please do engage with us on social media and join in the conversation.

We also hope to champion the great work that support services are doing across the district, to which we often signpost our own service-users.

So here’s a quick look at some things going on in our community this month:

Self Care Week

The 12th-18th November marks Self Care Week. This year the theme is ‘choosing self care for life’. The NHS Self Care Forum have lots of useful resources on this subject. They define the term in this way:

Self Care is the actions that individuals take for themselves, on behalf of and with others in order to develop, protect, maintain and improve their health, wellbeing or wellness.

(Self Care Forum 2018)

North Yorkshire County Council also have some helpful info on their page about how you can look after yourself and your health.

We spoke to some of our volunteers and visitors and asked them for some tips on self care:

  • Try and get enough sleep
  • Mindfulness
  • Healthy diet
  • Allow yourself time to think
  • Do activities that you enjoy or are good at
  • Make some time to relax– you could have a nice hot bath!
  • Get help from support services when you need it
  • Find support systems and people you can trust
  • Participate in exercise
  • Get some fresh air

“Bear in mind that it’s different for everybody” explains one of our pastoral carers.

What do you do to look after your self? Let us know in the comments.

Days of Action Against Domestic Violence

The 16 Days of Action for the elimination of violence against women run from 25th November (White Ribbon Day) to 10th December.  The Independent Domestic Abuse Services (IDAS) are participating in Harrogate by having an information stall at Harrogate District Hospital on Tuesday 27th November.  IDAS will be there, alongside the Police, between 9.30am and 2.30pm and are able to offer advice and information about the services they offer in and around Harrogate.

Feel free to go along or call IDAS on their 7 day a week helpline number 03000 110 110.

You can find out more about the Hub’s partnership with IDAS here.

Carer’s Rights Day

This day takes place on the 30th November. Carer’s Resource are a great Yorkshire charity that provide support for carers. To mark this day, they are running an information session in Harrogate for professionals. It will be an opportunity for professionals to hear about the issues affecting carers from the perspective of parent carers, young carers, and carers managing work and care.

There are many other awareness days this month:
  • Anti-Bullying Week (12th-16th)
  • World Kindness Day (13th)
  • Purple Tuesday (13th) – a campaign to transform the shopping experience of disabled people.
  • World Diabetes Day (14th)
  • Alcohol Awareness Week (19th-25th) We’re heading to Harrogate Alcoholics Anonymous Open Forum Event to find out more about supporting those struggling with alcohol addiction.

Do you know of any others?

Let us know what you’ve been up to this month and what you’ve learnt from these awareness days.

If you are affected by any of the issues discussed, please do drop into the Hub for a chat. We’ll listen to you and help you find the right support for you.
Or if you work for support services in Harrogate and haven’t already been in touch, we’d love to hear from you.

 

Written by Ella Green

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Baby Loss Awareness Week

As part of our month raising awareness of loss, we want to look at the experience of baby loss suffered by many in our community. If you read our blog last week, you’ll be aware that the 9th of October marks the beginning of Baby Loss Awareness Week, and so today we’re hearing from Tanya Allen, manager at Reflect.

It’s great to know that we can signpost our visitors to Reflect’s fantastic services. They are a local charity providing a free support service in North Yorkshire for anyone facing a Pregnancy Choice and for those struggling after experiencing Pregnancy Loss from any cause. We asked Tanya to share more about Reflect’s work…

Could you tell us about the support you offer at Reflect?

Reflect offers help to anyone facing a pregnancy choice. We offer free pregnancy testing with trained advisors and whatever the result we can help you explore your feelings and options without any pressure. At Reflect, we provide information on parenting, adoption and abortion. We offer post-abortion support for anyone struggling after having a termination.

Reflect also provides care and support to anyone who has experience of miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or stillbirth.

A pregnancy loss at any stage of pregnancy or soon after, can leave a woman or man feeling overwhelmed with unanswerable questions and grief.

A sense of isolation and loss are common and may leave you feeling ‘out of step’ with events. Reflect can help work through the emotions that surround the loss in a safe and compassionate environment. We allow time to express pain and disappointment and support for as long as is necessary.

What are you doing for Baby Loss Awareness Week?

Baby Loss Awareness Week is held from the 9th to 15th October and as part of this Reflect is hosting our second ‘light a candle’ vigil at St. Peter’s Church in Harrogate on Tuesday 9th October from 1pm until 2.30pm.

Everyone is welcome to come along and light a candle, write a message and spend as long as they wish remembering a baby lost at any stage of pregnancy or sooner after. There will also be trained advisors ready to listen if you would like to talk.

What would you suggest to someone going through grief, especially the grief of baby loss?  

Grief is normal and is a process of emotional suffering usually caused by the loss (or perceived loss) of someone or something that is important to us. Following pregnancy loss, grief is the release of sadness at the loss of the baby, all that might have been and potentially a bit of themselves. Grief often involves initial shock, then sadness and anger or fear, before moving forward into acceptance. However even months or years after the loss someone can still on occasions be overcome with grief.

Grief is a uniquely personal experience and how you deal with having a baby loss is incredibly personal. I would encourage anyone struggling after pregnancy loss to seek support – to talk to someone and know that it’s ok to seek professional support from someone trained in bereavement support. It is helpful to explore your feelings about the loss and to give yourself permission to grieve. Doing something to remember your baby by can often be helpful. This could include naming your baby, writing a letter or poem, drawing a picture or choosing something to remember them by e.g. a ring or necklace, planting a tree or making a memory box.

What kinds of support do you offer to help people through the experience of loss? 

We offer a structured support programme called ‘The Journey’ to enable someone to come to terms with their loss. The Journey course is a series of around 10 sessions exploring the emotional, physical and spiritual effects of pregnancy loss and has proved to be life-changing for those who have completed the programme at Reflect. We look at the different stages of the grieving process and help to work through all the different emotions that may come up such as anger, sadness, guilt and grief.  We offer the Journey programme one-to-one and for couples.

Losing a baby under any circumstance and at any stage of pregnancy can cause a great deal of suffering for the mother or father, and at Reflect we are here to provide space and time to work through that suffering.  We want to give hope of coming to a place of acceptance and being able to move forward. One client said:

I found it very helpful to have a safe space to talk… [Reflect] has really helped me through the most difficult period of my life in a way that has made me stronger and happier than before.

A loss may have been recent or many years ago. Someone may have experienced one loss or several. All Reflect volunteers are trained in our specific pregnancy loss support and all receive regular, ongoing, supervision & training. Emma, one of our volunteers, described her experience of helping a client “It’s wonderful to see the person change in front of you… no longer overwhelmed by sadness but accepting the miscarriage as part of her life journey”

What advice would you give to someone supporting a friend or family member through loss?

Many of our clients wish that friends and family would be able to talk to them about their loss, to ask them about their experience and to ask how they are. If a baby has been named please do use it. Often people also wish that their friends were normal around them and invite them to events, even if they say no. Also, practical support can be helpful, especially if they have other children. Ask them “What can I do to help?” and ask them again in a few days and weeks’ time.

All Reflect’s services are free and confidential. If you would like any further information or if you would like to make an appointment you can contact us via email on enquiry@reflectharrogate.co.uk, visit our website at www.reflectsupport.co.uk or call us on 01423 206710.

 

lightacandle2018 (1)

Written by Tanya Allen

Edited by Ella Green

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Creating a safe community where we can talk about loss

As October begins, it’s time to start thinking about our next topic of awareness, and this month we’re looking at loss and how we can create a safe, supportive community for people going through some of life’s biggest difficulties.

This subject is particularly relevant after we focused upon the challenges faced by elderly people in September. Thank you so much to everyone who joined us for our Dementia Awareness Workshop or supported the event in some way. Many of the consequences of ageing (such as the death of friends, a deterioration in health, less independence) can lead to feelings of loss.

Loss is a universal experience and affects people of all ages. We see many visitors at the Hub who have faced loss in some form or another, whether it’s loss of health, relationships, a loved one, or financial security, and the list goes on.

We’d particularly like to start a conversation around pregnancy and baby loss this month. The 9th of October marks the beginning of Baby Loss Awareness Week, which is led by Sands, the UK stillbirth and neonatal death charity, in collaboration with over 60 charities in the UK.

Baby Loss Awareness Week

Sands explain that “Baby Loss Awareness Week is an opportunity:

  • for bereaved parents and families across the world to commemorate their babies’ lives
  • to break the silence around pregnancy or baby loss in the UK
  • to ensure all bereaved parents in the UK get the best possible care, wherever they live, when they need it.”

Reflect is a fantastic charity in Harrogate that supports people facing pregnancy loss. Keep your eyes peeled, as we’ll be sharing more about their work later this month.

There are many other support agencies doing great work in our town. The Harrogate Borough Council has put together a really helpful list of the different kinds of local bereavement support available: you can read it over on their website.

It’s ok not to be ok

There are also two other awareness days coming up this month that we’d like to remember. It’s both “World Smile Day” (5th October) and Mental Health Day (10th October), which may seem like a strange combination in the same month! Whilst smiling has been shown to improve mental health and can stimulate happy thoughts, a smiley face can easily become a mask to cover up negative feelings.

We say this a lot, but we want really want people to know … it is ok not to be ok.

This is especially important to say in a place like Harrogate, (sometimes nicknamed “Happygate”) where we are often expected to have an affluent and idyllic lifestyle, making it even harder to be vulnerable about life’s struggles. (We’ve written more about the ‘Happygate façade’ recently over on the Harrogate Girl blog.)

World Smile Day began as a way of encouraging people to do small acts of kindness to make someone smile. Why not join us on the 5th, and do a random act of kindness? We’d love to hear what you get up to! Perhaps you know someone who has recently been bereaved or is going through a tough time, and would appreciate being treated or receiving a card.

If you’re wondering how to support a friend through loss or grief and how you can create a safe space for them to be themselves, it’s worth taking a read of Anna Naylor’s insightful piece on this subject for our blog earlier this year:

“Grief can be a very lonely experience so just having someone to talk to can be cathartic. You don’t need to fix anything- just offering an ear and supportive words, free from judgement, is a huge help. Try not to let the fear of saying the ‘wrong’ thing hold you back from talking about it with your friend or colleague.  Remember, there’s very little you can do to make things worse. They’ll be glad you cared enough to approach it.”

If you’re facing loss yourself and need someone to talk to, or don’t know where to turn, please drop into the Hub for a chat with our trained pastoral carers. We are here to support you and walk alongside you through the dark and difficult times in life.


Please comment and share your thoughts. Do you think Harrogate is a supportive community? And let us know what you get up to on World Smile Day over on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook. Thank you for joining in the conversation!
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The Hub and Harrogate – Join the conversation – Part 2

In Part 2 of our discussion, we’re going to be looking at some specific unmet needs in our town.

Please comment, share, or get in touch and tell us your thoughts on the needs in the Harrogate district. (You can check out Part 1 of the discussion here.)

Loneliness

Loneliness exists in all ages but predominately affects the elderly and the young people in the district.

In a UK survey of over 1000 GPs, more than three quarters said they were seeing 1-5 lonely people a day.  (Campaign to End Loneliness, 2013).

According to recent research by the Yorkshire Post in partnership with the Campaign to End Loneliness, three quarters of people in Yorkshire and the Humber say that they have suffered with loneliness. ‘Minding the Gaps’ (2014) uncovered high-risk levels of drinking, pornography, mental illness, and loneliness in Harrogate. And the ‘Vital Signs’ report (published by Two Ridings Community Foundation, 2017) also showed that loneliness is one of the prime needs within Harrogate.

Loneliness is in fact the most common reason that people visit the Harrogate Hub. 30% of visits between January and June 2018 were made by people primarily seeking company. They are usually socially isolated, feel overwhelmed by their problems, don’t know where to turn, and/or how to access the specialist services and community groups that would benefit them.  This statistic does not include the many other service-users who visited mainly for another reason, but for whom loneliness is also a daily challenge they face.

Discussion point:  Is there more the churches and community can do to help combat loneliness? For example, is there a need for a co-ordinated buddying/befriending service reaching into people’s homes?

Young People and Mental Health

A large and growing body of research shows that good mental health is essential for individual wellbeing, for a happy, healthy society, and for a prosperous economy. Unfortunately, mental health problems are on the increase, with a rising demand on services and increasing complexity of need.

1:4 young people are struggling in this area. The Local Health Authority’s publication states:

“The population of young people under 19 in Harrogate District is 40,445. There are estimated to be 4645 children and young people between the age of 5 and 19 with a mental disorder. Some 6,800 are estimated to need some support from a professional other than a trained mental health worker, e.g. school nurse, teacher, youth justice worker, whilst 580 are estimated to need support from a specialist CAMHS and a further 25 require inpatient care.”

In total, there appear to be 12,050 young people in the district who have mental ill-health issues.

This is an alarming statistic – over 1:4 (Details from the document – Harrogate and Rural district CCG Transformation Plan for Children and Young People’s Emotional and Mental Health 2015-2020)

Self Harm
  • Of the young people with mental ill-health, 1:4 girls are self-harming and 1:8 boys.
  • In adults 1:4 are suffering from depression, breakdown, sadness etc.
  • There is a 9 month wait time for access to Harrogate district therapeutic services, including Wellspring.
  • It is estimated by mental health professionals that 1 in 4 girls will self-harm before they leave school.
  • Hospital admissions in England are at a 5 year high for girls aged 10-14, showing a 93% increase. (4 May 2015)
  • Self-harm reported to GPs among teenage girls (under the age of 17) in the UK increased by 68% over just three years.
  • Around 13% of young people may try to hurt themselves on purpose at some point between the ages of 11 and 16, but the actual figure could be much higher.
  • In 2014, figures were published suggesting a 70% increase in 10-14 year olds attending A&E for self-harm related reasons over the preceding 2 years.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/oct/18/self-harm-girls-aged-13-to-16-rose-68pc-three-years

https://girlsoutloud.org.uk/self-harming-why/

https://www.selfharm.co.uk/get-information/the-facts/self-harm-statistics

Discussion point: How can the churches be better equipped to work with young people in a preventative capacity and work in partnership with the local health authority and education? Can the churches resource, through the Hub, a system of mentoring young people who are needing support? Do the churches need to be better trained and equipped to reach out to people struggling with mental illness?

Isolation in Families living with Autism

There appears to be a need for church Activities that are “Autism Family Friendly”. Further information is being collated in partnership with Carers’ Resource.

Helen Prince from Carers’ Resource writes:

“The most up-to-date info on the district that I have is from November 2016 – at that time the GP surgeries in Harrogate and Rural District had 617 children (0-18) with an autism diagnosis. There would also be a large number who were suspected to have ASC but not yet diagnosed.

At Carers’ Resource we have nearly 400 families on our database who are caring for a child with autism. All of these families have felt sufficient pressure to reach out and ask for help from us as a charity.

Having a child with autism is extremely isolating. For many families, there have been years of wondering what is wrong, why your parenting doesn’t seem to be right, why everyone else has a child who will join in at the playgroup, play nicely with the other children, try the food, heed warnings etc. For a long time, you wonder what is wrong with you as a parent before you even start the arduous journey of wondering if your child has additional needs and trying to find the right help.

It is much easier not to leave the house than endure the stares and disapproval as your child has a melt-down in the supermarket. Why not just shop online? Santa’s grotto is a sensory nightmare for most autistic children, so you don’t put them through anything like that. Increasingly you find yourself staying at home where you can control the environment, the food, the routine because that is the only way your child seems able to cope.”

Discussion point: What can churches do to support families living with autistic children?

Isolation in the Business Community

Many business people in Harrogate are struggling and I am sure would welcome regular visits from volunteer ‘chaplains’. Volunteer chaplains could operate from the Hub calling into businesses enquiring on employers and employees, asking about their well-being and for any prayer needs.

According to the charity MIND, in any given year, in Britain, one in six workers experience depression, anxiety or stress. It costs the UK economy £26 billion a year. In total, 70 million working days are lost every year due to mental ill health. And 10 million of these working days are directly caused by work-related problems. On average, we spend 10.5 years of our lives at work. Shouldn’t those years be happy and fulfilled? Business chaplains could make a big difference to the individuals affected and to the overall economy of Harrogate.

Discussion point: Are the local churches able to provide volunteers for chaplaincy training with a commitment to providing a service to the business community?

Isolation in the LBGT+ community 

North Yorkshire has no provision for supporting and advising people identifying with gender difference.

A 2010 report by LGBT Youth Scotland (Challenging Homophobia Together)

The report noted that homophobic bullying creates additional physical and mental health risks for those who identify as LGBT. This includes increased rates of substance abuse, lack of adequate sexual health knowledge, physical violence, and isolation. This isolation reaches all areas of life, from the possibility of homelessness when coming out to family members, to a higher rate of mental health issues due to homophobia, and the inability to freely express oneself. Social relationships are built on trust earned through perceived commonality and experiences. Therefore, when LGBT young people and children of LGBT families cannot divulge their identities and home life to peers, their relationships suffer, leading to further social isolation.

Discussion point: How can the local churches and community offer support to the LGBT+ community? The Hub could be a venue for a support network.

Partnership

The Hub is working alongside the district’s civic sector, health providers and 3rd sector providers. These sectors are increasingly showing a desire to work more closely together with Harrogate churches to consider local needs and how they can be addressed locally.

Thank you so much taking the time to read these blogs based on our discussion paper. It is designed to be helpful in shaping our thinking into action. We’d love for you to join in the conversation!

 

Written by Jo-Ann Hughes 

Special thanks to Ella Green (co-worker) and Helen Prince (Carer’s Resource) for help compiling the discussion paper

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The Hub and Harrogate – Join the conversation – Part 1

In our next blog posts, we want to start a conversation about how we can work together to respond to the unmet needs in Harrogate.

These blog posts are based on a discussion paper we have put together. We’re going to be sharing some of our own findings as well as the research of other organisations.

This discussion paper is an attempt to open up the conversation on how best the Christian church and local community can serve our area, enabling everyone in Harrogate to flourish. The needs within the town and district are a cause for general concern and a reason for everyone to join in the discussion on resourcing and meeting the needs of the ‘not so’ minority that impact us all.

Please comment and share your thoughts with us, and do get in touch if you feel passionate about finding solutions to some of the problems we’ve raised in our discussion. In this blog post (part 1), we will introduce the bigger picture and the issues that we see in the lives of people visiting the Hub. Then we will focus in on some specific needs in part 2, which we’ll be publishing in the near future.

Jesus said “This is my command: Love each other.” John 15: 17

Government Policy
CIVIL SOCIETY STRATEGY: BUILDING A FUTURE THAT WORKS FOR EVERYONE

This government paper was published in August (2018) and speaks about the importance of working together strategically:

“A healthy, independent and influential civil society is a hallmark of a thriving democracy. Charities and social enterprises – the social sector – are the core of civil society. A strong social sector is a sign of a strong democracy, which offers many ways in which citizens’ views and concerns can be communicated to decision-makers.

The government is keen to work alongside the social sector to build a future in which the sector can adapt and thrive, strengthen public trust, as well as find new ways to resource and deliver their work. The government is determined that charities and social enterprises should be fully confident in their right to speak in public debates.”

Introduction to the Harrogate Hub

‘Minding the Gaps’, a survey of the Harrogate area undertaken by St Mark’s Church in 2014, uncovered many needs in Harrogate, including high-risk levels of drinking, pornography, mental illness, and loneliness.

The Harrogate Hub provides a place of welcome from our centre at 39 Oxford Street. Our team of trained pastoral carers, recruited from Christian Churches in Harrogate district, provide a listening ear and non-judgmental support, befriending and walking along-side those in need. We also provide practical help, such as filling in forms and sign-posting to specialist services, churches, and community groups when relevant. We are here to help anyone regardless of their age, race, gender, religion or sexual orientation. The Hub is a safe space for people to find support and share the issues they may be facing.

The Harrogate Hub has been welcomed by local charities, churches, businesses, and civic organisations, and we are working alongside them to respond to the unmet needs of Harrogate. Our aim is to facilitate local churches working together with the third and public sector to help mind the gaps in provision and pool resources to serve the most vulnerable people in our community. We have good relationships with different organisations, enabling us to find service-users the best and most relevant support for them. We have sign-posted people to a variety of different support services so far, including IDAS, CAP groups, the Food Bank, and many others.

Over the past 12 months we have been serving our neighbour…

Total Number of Beneficiaries: 164 service-users over 12 months.

Primary Reasons for Visits: Between January and June 2018:
  • 30% of visits were made by people primarily seeking company.
  • 22% of our service-users came to the Hub primarily for support as they navigate relationship and family issues.
  • 19% came in primarily for support due to mental illness.
  • 7% were facing financial difficulties and were in need of signposting.
  • 5% requested spiritual support or guidance.
  • 4% sought advice and help for housing issues.
  • 3% sought support due to (un)employment issues.
  • 10% came to the Hub for other reasons, including grief and loss, assistance with form-filling, and other signposting enquiries.
Issues faced by service-users:
  • Approximately 3% of our service-users have had a history of drug/alcohol abuse and have come out of rehabilitation
  • Over 25% of service-users are struggling with mental health problems
  • 9% of visits in June 2018 related to housing issues, 3% to unemployment and 3% to finance.
  • Approximately 10% of our regular visitors are/have been in an abusive relationship.
Regularity of Support:
  • Many of our beneficiaries come regularly and have a variety of complex needs. In June 2018, for example, 58% of our beneficiaries came into the Hub on a regular basis for on-going support from pastoral carers. (42% were new beneficiaries).
  • Approximately 25% of our service-users have extremely complex needs and severe/chronic mental health problems. We will walk alongside these people for as long as necessary, sometimes this might be for as long as 1 to 2 years.
  • We estimate that about 10% of our service-users require regular support for more than 6 months (this is not including those whose visits are highly intermittent.)
  • Other service-users require only 1-3 visits in order to find the support and signposting they need.
Between January and June 2018:
  • 7% of our service-users required support over the period of 1-2 months.
  • 65% of visitors were first-time visitors, and 35% were return visitors. These return visitors accounted for 280 visits, which is 80% of visits. This demonstrates the great need for long-term support.
  • 12% of our service-users visited the Hub on an intermittent basis, often due to the difficult and chaotic nature of their lives, and have been coming for more than 6 months.
  • We estimate that 10% of our service-users came on a weekly or fortnightly basis, half of whom visited the Hub over a period of more than 3 months.
Outcomes
  • Out of the total of 83 visits in June 2018, 77 (93%) of visit forms record that the beneficiary felt lighter in mood when they left, having received the support they needed. 5 visits recorded the person felt the same as when they came in. (These beneficiaries receive on-going support for complex needs).1 record did not say.
  • 83% of forms recorded a positive answer to the question “Did we help?” (The other 17% did not leave an answer.)
  • In June, we helped 20% of our service-users access support or resources from other agencies. For example, finding housing, helping with forms, signposting.
  • The fact that 80% of visits (January-June 2018) were made by return visitors is a positive indicator. It shows that our service-users feel welcomed into the Hub community and are finding our support beneficial.
  • 6 service-users have become happily engaged in a church of their choosing and have found community there. 2 other service users are currently talking about joining an Alpha course in the Autumn.
Signposting to Christian Church Activities in Harrogate and District – Current Church Provision

The churches across Harrogate engage in the following activities adding approximately £1,000,000 per annum to the borough’s economy.

Christian Church Activities (by type) Weekly sessions across Harrogate churches
Carer and Toddler 16
Coffee Mornings 8
Lunch Groups 10
Adult Activities 26
Youth Groups 28
Family Activities 10
Illness and Disability 10
Debt 3
Hunger 3

 

Questions to explore
  1. Could the churches be more strategic in targeting their resources in supporting the crisis of needs within Harrogate and District?
  2. What can be done to help Harrogate’s Health Authority combat its issues of loneliness, isolation, and mental ill-health?

 

Written by Jo-Ann Hughes, Executive Director, Harrogate Hub

Special thanks to Ella Green (co-worker) and Helen Prince (Carer’s Resource) for help with compiling the discussion paper

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“You’re not remembered by how much money you make but by how many lives you’ve touched” – Introducing Matthew from Radfield Home Care

We’re delighted to introduce you to Matthew Nutting. He’s the Director of Radfield Home Care, a high quality home care service for the people of Harrogate and surrounding areas.

We are very grateful to this great business for becoming one our latest sponsors. Matthew will also be joining us for our next exciting event! We had a chat with him to find out about his work and his heart to care for our community…

How did you first get into the care sector?

I first got involved in the care sector because I wanted to help people. And I didn’t know what exactly I wanted to do with my life. A lot of people in the care sector end up there by default. They know they want to help. They know they want to do something practical, but maybe they haven’t been particularly good in academics – I could look after someone but I probably couldn’t write an essay! That’s a skill I’ve had to learn and teach myself throughout the years. But I enjoy helping people and seeing their smiling faces when you do something for them.

No one’s in it to make millions, but you do have an impact on the community. You do have an impact on the people around you and people have said to me “You’re doing something that’s good”, “You’re doing something that’s worthwhile”. I’m a big believer in the idea that you’re not remembered by how much money you make but by how many lives you’ve touched.

Do you think your background as an Occupational Therapist has given you an insight into how we can support people in our community?

Yeah absolutely. So occupational therapy is one of the only dual-trained healthcare professions, so you train in mental health and physical health. It’s very much about holistic therapy for individuals.

The term ‘Occupational Therapy’ can be quite misleading, in that people automatically think that ‘Occupation’ means their job, when it’s actually nothing to do with their job. Occupation is what we do everyday. Occupation is getting yourself dressed in the morning, making yourself lunch, or taking your child to nursery. All of these things are your occupation and they are different for every person.

Occupational therapy is needed when there’s something in your life, whether’s it a social, mental, or physical health problem that prevents you from doing the things that make you you. OT is about looking at how you can support that person to overcome that.

You can never truly understand what people are going through – there’s a big difference between empathy and sympathy.

You shouldn’t try to sympathise with people, you don’t know what’s going on inside or what they’ve experienced. But if you do your best to realise that it is hard for them and that they need help, it gives you a little bit of background.

Why have you chosen to support the Harrogate Hub?

I love the fact that the Hub is about making changes to society, and making changes in the community. At Radfield Home Care we are really focused on being able to change the care industry, and make an impact on the community and the society around us.

We’re really proud to be acquainted with the Living Wage Foundation, because we know that some of the most vulnerable people in society are paid low wages and they are often looking after vulnerable people themselves. Yet they are not being valued for the job they do, which is an incredibly hard job. I think we’re in a really unique position in that we can promote a healthy society and community. I’m really keen on promoting local jobs for local people, to look after local people. If I ever get to the stage where I need care in my life, I would like to know that it’s Brenda from down the street who’s looking after me, someone who knows me and who knows about the community I live in. It’s a great thing to be in a community and to have support from that community.

I’ve also chosen to support the Harrogate Hub, because of its work with churches. The church has always been a big part of my life. I was born into a church and into a Christian family, so that’s always been the normal life for me. I’ve seen the values of community and the value of churches. Church isn’t about just standing in a room and singing hymns and saying prayers. Church is about the way you live your life, the way you hold yourself, the way you treat people and the values you hold.

What issues do you think people face in Harrogate and how do you think this impacts them?

I think in Harrogate there’s a massive misconception.

“Oh Harrogate’s nice…there are no problems in the Dales… it’s all money…” Just because the problems are hidden, doesn’t mean the problems aren’t there.

I think people in various parts of the community can face different kinds of stigma. People easily become lonely and isolated because the transport links aren’t always good. In the communities in the Dales, especially in the older generations, people struggle with mobility and getting on public transport by themselves. They need a bit of a helping hand, especially people with dementia. It’s very easy for them to get left behind and lost within their community, and so they can suddenly find themselves quite isolated.

Some people enjoy retirement, but some people can feel like they’ve lost their role within their community. When someone is diagnosed with dementia, for example, it can become easy for them to feel like they’ve lost their place in society. They become harder to engage with. I think that’s where we’ve got a unique opportunity. Places like the Hub and home care agencies, and the whole of society too, can help support people who are struggling. We know from research in dementia that it’s beneficial for people to have social interaction. We can help them keep in touch with the community, which hugely benefits their wellbeing.

How do you see yourself helping the local community in five years time?

At Radfield Home Care, we’re really keen to be able to establish a sustainable and ethical quality home care service. So in five years time, I hope to be building the business and establishing ourselves. I hope that we will have a reputation for providing good quality home care to those who need it most. We want to be able to work with local charities, churches, employers, businesses, social services, and NHS services, so that in five years we will be embedded into the community.


Do you want to find out more about dementia and how we can support people with it? Join us at the Hub for an engaging workshop run by Matthew Nutting on Tuesday 18th September, 7-9pm. Book your free place here. All donations on the night will go towards the work of the Harrogate Hub.  

 

Written by Amelia Ashbrook

Edited by Ella Green

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Journeys at the Harrogate Hub – insights from Jo-Ann, the Director

Sarah’s* Journey

Sarah came to the Hub a year ago. She was very honest about her mental health difficulties and found engaging in social situations extremely challenging. Sarah needed to feel safe. Her diagnosis of her mental disorder is characterized by abnormal social behavior and failure to understand reality. Common symptoms include false beliefs, unclear or confused thinking, hearing voices that others do not, reduced social engagement and emotional expression, and a lack of motivation.

Since attending the Hub, Sarah has become more relaxed and has a greater sense of peace. She says she feels valued and accepted, safe and peaceful. Without the Hub Sarah says her life is fraught with loneliness which isolates her with her voices. Sarah has increased motivation and engages well with pastoral carers at the Hub. Sarah is not as confused as she used to be and regularly tells us she is happy and well.

Sarah’s journey is a long one with carers at the Hub. They are walking beside her, enabling her to feel loved, valued and secure. Without this she would be continually filled with anxiety and confusion. Instead she has found compassion, love and a safe space.


Ben* started his journey with the Hub over a year ago.

Ben was signposted to us by his CPN. He arrived one day feeling very subdued and suicidal. Life for Ben is not straightforward. His story is one of loss, betrayal, illness and breakdown. Ben is in his fifties. He lost all real purpose in his life when he became ill and his wife began seeing someone else while continuing to live in the family home. Ben’s story is one of confusion and sorrow as he comes to terms with his loss; the loss of his physical health, his mental illness, and the love of his life abusing his situation. She is verbally aggressive and shows no care for his feelings. Unable to make clear decisions and being too unwell to take any action, Ben has suffered greatly. Each week he has sought strength form the pastoral carers at the Hub.

Over the weeks and months, Ben has begun to understand God’s love for him. He is taking strength from beginning a new journey to a new life, even though the old life is still very present. The Hub and its carers are providing a strength that is gradually enabling Ben to see beyond his current situation. He is realising there is a better future ahead.

We continue to support Ben each week on this journey to wellness. He no longer feels his life is hopeless but is now more hopeful, but remains quite fearful of his future. As he gets stronger he is beginning to accept that he is worth so much more than he thought when he first came to us for help. He no longer feels despair.


William and his wife Louise* have recently moved into the area to be close to family.

Louise has dementia and William called into the Hub to find out what support was available for them in the district. He spoke of how lonely he was and how difficult it was for him to have time to do things and go shopping or do the banking. He was lonely for conversation too. Louise loved being in the company of others and engaging in crafts.

The Hub was able to signpost him to several day centres for people with dementia thanks to the work of Dementia Forward; talk to him about Caring for the Elderly and their fun day’s out; and tell him of a private care provider working in the area who could provide respite when he needed to go out.

William was delighted that there was so much in the district to help him care for Louise. He left feeling both relief and joy. We asked him to call in again for a cuppa and conversation as we would be happy to see them both again.


Some of our journeys are very long as we walk with people trying to rebuild their lives from painful and often very messy beginnings.

We are reminded that Jesus never gives up on us. It cost him all he had to walk life’s pathway with us.

“If your brother asks you for your coat,” Jesus advised, “give him your tunic as well. If you ask God for a fish, would he give you a stone? Go and do likewise.”

So here at the Hub we do. We journey with the lost, the lonely, the broken and marginalised for as long as it takes and we are making a difference.

If after reading these journeys you would like to volunteer to be a pastoral carer at Harrogate Hub, please get in touch with us as we would love to hear from you. We provide training and fellowship as you journey with us.

Email: harrogatehub@gmail.com  Tel: 01423 369393

* names have been changed for confidentiality

 

Written by Jo-Ann Hughes, Executive Director, Harrogate Hub

Edited by Ella Green

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Hairdressing, Harrogate lifestyle, and loneliness – our interview with the Lifestyle Lounge

We’re very excited to announce that Harrogate Lifestyle Lounge is one of our first business partners. I had a chat with Louise to find out more about the salon and why they got involved with the work of the Hub…
Tell us a little about yourself…

Hi, I’m Louise, I’m the Salon Manager at Lifestyle Lounge. I’ve worked there since November and I’ve been hairdressing for 14 years this month! I enjoy talking to different people everyday and creating new looks. I like working in Harrogate – it has a very civilised feel! And I like the choice of bars and restaurants to go to after work.

I imagine you hear lots of stories of personal struggles as you talk to customers. What do you think are some of the difficulties facing people in Harrogate?

Yes, once a client has been to you a few times, they definitely open up about their personal life. You become a friend to them and they often ask your opinion on things and vice versa. Some of the main struggles we hear about are relationship and family issues, as well as troubles at work. Compared to other places where I’ve lived the cost of living in Harrogate is high. I’m guessing that puts pressure on people at work to achieve more. There’s definitely a pressure to aspire to an affluent lifestyle.

In the Instagram world we live in, everyone thinks they know what everyone else is doing. We look at their social media and envy people we don’t know or have never met. I think this creates a feeling of loneliness and can be a struggle. It depends on how you perceive loneliness. It isn’t always obvious. You hear of people with millions and millions of friends and yet they still feel very on their own. We sometimes see lonely elderly clients, who might pop in and just want to chat to somebody.

Why did you choose to support the Harrogate Hub?

I wanted to support a local Harrogate charity that focused on issues within Harrogate. I think that what the Hub does and what hairdressing can do for people is quite similar in some ways. We can both help customers simply by having an hour’s chat with them and building their self-esteem. By the end of it, they stand taller and leave with more confidence.

How have you raised funds so far?

We recently re-launched the salon with the new name ‘Lifestyle Lounge’. To celebrate we had a Pamper Night, our first fundraiser for the Harrogate Hub and a chance to showcase what we now do – which is more than just hairdressing, but a whole variety of services. We raised £330 for the Harrogate Hub on the night. We also have some plans for future fundraising – something that involves us getting out and about, and that involves us wearing walking boots or trainers! I don’t know what it is yet, so watch this space!

We’re very grateful to Louise and the Lifestyle Lounge team for all their hard work and we look forward to finding out more about their fundraising adventures!

If you work for or run a local business and would like to find out how your business could get involved, please do get in touch at harrogatehub.marketing@gmail.com. You could fundraise for us, sponsor us, or simply be an ambassador and spread the message about our work. We’re excited to work with people who share our heart to serve and love our community.

 

Interview by Ella Green

 

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“Although we can’t stop grief from happening, we can support each other through it”

If you read our blog post earlier in June, you’ll have heard that our monthly topic of awareness is loss. It’s something which affects many of our visitors at the Hub and comes in many different forms. Today’s blog post is written by guest writer, Anna Naylor, and focuses on grief.  

I was just seventeen when, after a year’s battle with Acute Myeloid Leukaemia (AML), my brother died. AML is a blood cancer that affects the production of white blood cells and this case was particularly aggressive.  Its entrance into our lives was sudden and unwelcome. The year of treatment for my brother was riddled with hope when he went into remission. And then disappointment when he relapsed with a brain tumour. The AML entered his central nervous system and we lost him three days before Christmas, a year after initial diagnosis.

The grief that ensued was not a linear process but rather, a fluid experience. When you lose somebody so close to you, a lot changes. There are theories about grief that present it as a process of stages, but for me it wasn’t that straight forward or predictable.

At first, the hardest thing was coming to terms with what had happened. We live our lives watching these kinds of things happening to others and we never think it will happen to us. So when it did happen to me, it almost felt like an out of body experience as if I watching somebody else’s life and not my own. For a long time I felt relatively numb and I found it difficult to articulate and own my grief, which meant I had trouble expressing it. I also found the shift in family dynamic pretty difficult. Becoming an only child overnight was a big adjustment and impacted my relationship with my family.

My difficulty in processing the grief contributed to a general anxiety, which overwhelmed me immediately after my brother’s death. Thankfully, over time, I found the support and courage to explore the painful areas so that I could better understand what was going on for me. Consequently, I was able get help with those things and develop the tools I needed to build resilience to move forward.

Grief changes with time and different things are harder now.

The hardest thing today is not being able to ring my brother up and share life events with him. My husband never knew my brother and when we have children, they’ll be missing an uncle. It seems so cruel that he should be excluded from this chapter of my life and that nobody got a choice. I also sometimes feel afraid of reliving this grief and the thought of anybody else I love getting cancer.

Unfortunately, our western society isn’t well-versed in its understanding and handling of grief. Our ‘hold your cards close’ culture makes it a difficult and awkward topic for some.

However, grief happens to everybody at some point. Although we can’t stop that from happening we can support each other through it. I would start by suggesting that we change the phrase “Let me know if I can help” to “What can I do to help?”. We British folk are often too polite to directly ask for help. This phrasing makes it easier to give specific actions to those asking. It also helps those asking to sound sincere in their offer.

Things people did to support us included a meal rota where friends brought us dinner each night for a while. Practical, everyday things can take a backseat after loss and this is a simple gesture that makes a huge difference. Our community also helped us fundraise for Bloodwise to help others in my brother’s situation, which helped us to feel seen and thought of.

When it comes to supporting a friend/colleague, listening is powerful.

Grief can be a very lonely experience so just having someone to talk to can be cathartic. You don’t need to fix anything- just offering an ear and supportive words, free from judgement, is a huge help. Try not to let the fear of saying the ‘wrong’ thing hold you back from talking about it with your friend or colleague.  Remember, there’s very little you can do to make things worse. They’ll be glad you cared enough to approach it.

Even though it’s been a long time, I’m still learning how to support my family. Something that I’m learning is that grief looks different for everybody even if you’re in the same family, and that can be quite hard. Taking a step back and asking that question again, ‘what can I do to help?’ seems to be a good direction to go in.

If you’re going through grief, I would say that whilst the grief never goes away, you can get better at living with it. I’ve found that giving myself grace on tough days has been really helpful.

Self-care has been hugely important.

Sometimes that looks like a duvet day and ice cream. But more and more, I’m finding that self-care looks like reading a book, or cooking my favourite meal, and ultimately, equipping myself with the tools I need to handle things. Immediately after my loss, I benefited from a Macmillan counsellor who helped me learn how to label my emotions and explore them in a constructive way. I’ve since found that investing in integrative therapy was really helpful for me on my grief journey. After reflecting and pinpointing specific areas, I was able to work alongside some amazing women who have helped me learn to develop my resilience and EQ in response to the trauma and other unpredicted adversities that may occur. It’s an ongoing process and learning curve.

I have also found my faith to be a key part in finding comfort and strength when things were especially hard. It’s also helped me to see grief and loss in a new way – as an ongoing process – and that alleviates some of my fear and anxiety. There’s nothing quite like close community to encourage you and offer a listening ear.

C. S. Lewis said ‘no one ever told me that grief felt so like fear’.

He is spot on. But life and loss are a little less scary when you have compassionate and supportive people beside you. Whether that comes in the form of family, friends, counsellors, church, or the Hub, keep investing in your relationships. Although isolation sometimes feels easier, vulnerable and real relationships are an invaluable help in times of loss. You’re not alone and things will be alright again.

Written by Anna Naylor

Edited by Ella Green

 

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“Grief comes in many guises” – Living through loss

This month our topic of awareness is loss. Please feel free to join in the conversation on social media. We’re going to be talking about how we can support each other through heartbreaking times. 

Grief comes in many guises. It can seep into our lives like a mist that gradually burns away the light or it can drop onto us wiping out our ability to make any sense.

Why…? How…? What…? We ask ourselves and others questions that bring us no comfort, no release. None of us are immune and how we find peace and reconciliation is a true test of our essence of being.

I recall a two-year period in my life where my losses were many. One tumbled after another. Grief seared into my heart and soul like white heat as my successful career was ended, my lifestyle interrupted, my status and reputation taken away, my friends left me, my health was shredded by an auto-immune disease and my home sold. I lived for quite a while in anger, disbelief and despair. Pain filled me emotionally and physically. I thought it would never end.

So much loss in such a short timespan undid me; everything I thought I was and everything I had built lay broken!

If I was to survive such devastation I needed to reach out and find the Well of Life. Only the Life Giver himself could hold me in his hands, breathe a new spirit into me and re-shape this broken pot of clay. Thankfully, I found new friendships that wrapped around me giving me room to grieve, holding me in their strength until I began to smile again and feel a renewed spirit within me.


At the Hub, we see many people who have gradually fallen into a mist that shrouds them.

They are unable to see the brightness of day and the colours of joy. They are feeling robbed of energy and zeal for living. They are bound by sadness and existing on emptiness. In essence some of the people we see are experiencing a hopelessness from loss and loneliness.

Some people come to the Hub for company and a cuppa. They seek eyes that shine in their direction and ears attending to their voices. They seek a supporting smile and comforting noises that say “I understand” and “it’s okay to feel like you do”.

A wife’s memory fading with dementia or Alzheimer’s leads one man to seek the company of friends at the Hub. He takes a short break from caring, to engage in lively conversation.

The death of a close friend led someone into the comforting, confidential conversation of a Hub pastoral carer.

The oncoming loss of her home brought despair to a woman seeking help and intervention so that her family did not suffer.

Frequently, we are visited by people who have lost their livelihood, lost relationships, lost their health. At their lowest level, they reach out to the Hub for a gentle hand of friendship.

Life can be renewed!

Reaching out to be welcomed as you are and comforted by those who know how you feel will bring you back into the light and enable you to see colour once again. I promise, because I know!

Written by

Jo-Ann Hughes, Executive Director, Harrogate Hub

Photo credit here , photo edited by Ella Green

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