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Why awareness days matter…and how you can get involved…

Over recent years, there seems to have been an increasing number of awareness days.

These days generate interest around various issues and charities that may not always receive much attention. This month is one of those months where there are so many awareness days and weeks (focusing on some very important topics) that it is hard to know where to start!

When there’s so much going on, it’s worth asking why we bother having awareness days in the first place.

There can be many reasons, but broadly speaking these awareness days, weeks and months are a positive way of….
  • encouraging conversation. This helps people to feel more comfortable talking about their personal difficulties.
  • encouraging people who are struggling with various issues to seek the relevant support. Isolation can be one of the worst things when we’re facing challenges in our lives. Many visitors to the Hub come here to find a space in community where they can share their burdens and find support.
  • inspiring action. Better conversations mean we can find ways of moving forwards and working together to change our communities.
What we’re doing…

Here at the Hub, we use our events, blog and social media posts to focus on a specific topic of awareness each month.

We want to start conversations around many of the needs within our community that are often unseen. Harrogate can be a hard place to talk about our personal difficulties, because of the town’s reputation as a place of wealth, health, and wellbeing. Please do engage with us on social media and join in the conversation.

We also hope to champion the great work that support services are doing across the district, to which we often signpost our own service-users.

So here’s a quick look at some things going on in our community this month:

Self Care Week

The 12th-18th November marks Self Care Week. This year the theme is ‘choosing self care for life’. The NHS Self Care Forum have lots of useful resources on this subject. They define the term in this way:

Self Care is the actions that individuals take for themselves, on behalf of and with others in order to develop, protect, maintain and improve their health, wellbeing or wellness.

(Self Care Forum 2018)

North Yorkshire County Council also have some helpful info on their page about how you can look after yourself and your health.

We spoke to some of our volunteers and visitors and asked them for some tips on self care:

  • Try and get enough sleep
  • Mindfulness
  • Healthy diet
  • Allow yourself time to think
  • Do activities that you enjoy or are good at
  • Make some time to relax– you could have a nice hot bath!
  • Get help from support services when you need it
  • Find support systems and people you can trust
  • Participate in exercise
  • Get some fresh air

“Bear in mind that it’s different for everybody” explains one of our pastoral carers.

What do you do to look after your self? Let us know in the comments.

Days of Action Against Domestic Violence

The 16 Days of Action for the elimination of violence against women run from 25th November (White Ribbon Day) to 10th December.  The Independent Domestic Abuse Services (IDAS) are participating in Harrogate by having an information stall at Harrogate District Hospital on Tuesday 27th November.  IDAS will be there, alongside the Police, between 9.30am and 2.30pm and are able to offer advice and information about the services they offer in and around Harrogate.

Feel free to go along or call IDAS on their 7 day a week helpline number 03000 110 110.

You can find out more about the Hub’s partnership with IDAS here.

Carer’s Rights Day

This day takes place on the 30th November. Carer’s Resource are a great Yorkshire charity that provide support for carers. To mark this day, they are running an information session in Harrogate for professionals. It will be an opportunity for professionals to hear about the issues affecting carers from the perspective of parent carers, young carers, and carers managing work and care.

There are many other awareness days this month:
  • Anti-Bullying Week (12th-16th)
  • World Kindness Day (13th)
  • Purple Tuesday (13th) – a campaign to transform the shopping experience of disabled people.
  • World Diabetes Day (14th)
  • Alcohol Awareness Week (19th-25th) We’re heading to Harrogate Alcoholics Anonymous Open Forum Event to find out more about supporting those struggling with alcohol addiction.

Do you know of any others?

Let us know what you’ve been up to this month and what you’ve learnt from these awareness days.

If you are affected by any of the issues discussed, please do drop into the Hub for a chat. We’ll listen to you and help you find the right support for you.
Or if you work for support services in Harrogate and haven’t already been in touch, we’d love to hear from you.

 

Written by Ella Green

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“There’s more to life than current pressures” – Being a young person in Harrogate

Teenage years. Often labelled as awkward and slightly dysfunctional. You’re treated differently; you’re not quite an adult but you’re definitely not a child anymore. Pressures start with school, revision, homework, exams….

That’s not even to mention relationship issues, underage drinking, peer pressure, parties, puberty, social media and mental health. The list is endless.

Teenagehood? Perhaps it should be renamed teenage-should. Young people are often swamped by a constant instructions of ‘dos and don’ts’ that life throws at them. There’s a need to fit in and it’s hard to know how.

With the use of Snapchat, Instagram and Facebook, this ongoing pressure continues outside of the classroom.

A recent enquiry led by MPs and top children’s charities, revealed the addictive nature of social media. One in ten (9%) young people surveyed admitted to logging on after midnight every night and one young person said it was “almost like a drug”. Young people expressed that they feel “judged and inadequate if they didn’t have enough likes or followers.”

The enquiry also noted that young people who use social media a lot of the time are more likely to have ‘low wellbeing and symptoms of anxiety and depression.’

In fact, according to YoungMinds, 1 in 5 young adults and 1 in 10 children (that’s roughly 3 children in every classroom) have a diagnosable mental health disorder.

Rob is a youth leader and a local secondary school teacher from Harrogate. He said:

There is definitely an increase in exam stress and pressure to do well. This pressure often has a negative impact on social development.

And if schoolwork isn’t hard enough, he added: “Outside of the classroom, everything is focussed on phones, especially Snapchat. This has an adverse affect on teenagers’ perceptions on not only themselves but also the world around them.”

In a town like Harrogate, there’s not a lot for young people to do.

They can often get stuck in the ‘routine of life’ of school, homework, tea, social media, bed. Many young people don’t know how to talk about their problems and may isolate themselves or get stuck in a rut.

It is estimated that in the Harrogate and Rural District, there are 4645 children and young people between the age of 5 and 19 with a mental disorder. (Harrogate and Rural District Clinical Commissioning Group, 2015).

Rob sees young people struggling with society’s burdens everyday. He said: “I’d like to tell teenagers to remember that there is more to life than their current pressures and that no one should face issues alone. There’s always someone to talk to and the more we talk about it, the more these issues can be tackled together.”

The Hub soon hopes to open its doors on an evening once a week to provide pastoral care and mentoring support to young people. We want to show love and care to those who are struggling at school, facing challenges at home, or suffering from a severe loss of self-confidence and self-esteem.

 ‘Young people are the hope for the future in the making. They need to be shown that they matter, that they are valued’, says Jo-Ann Hughes, Hub Executive Director. ‘They need positive role models who demonstrate how to develop healthy attitudes and caring relationships. All too common now is the issue of self-harm and anxiety. Our children need to know who to trust, where to turn for healthy advice and reassurance. This is why we would like to open our doors to teenagers for safe mentoring at the Harrogate Hub.’

Could you help us provide support for young people?

We are looking for youth groups who want to give some of their time and creativity to fundraise for the Hub’s work with vulnerable young people. Through partnering with us, local young people will be helping to support their peers. Together we can see lives transformed across the community.

If you would be interested in fundraising for the work of the Harrogate Hub, would like to give on a monthly basis, or have experience in working with young people and would like to volunteer, please get in touch. We’d love to hear from you and find out about your heart for young people in Harrogate.

And if you have any further thoughts on the kinds of challenges facing teenagers in our local area, please do comment or engage with us on social media. We want to raise awareness of the hidden needs in our town to build a stronger, healthier community, where no one has to suffer in silence.

You can join the discussion on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.

 

Written by Rachel Williams

Edited by Ella Green

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“Don’t let your past define your present”: Talking relationships with specialist Laura Brett

This week I had the chance to speak to the lovely Laura, whose been doing all sorts of things in Harrogate over the years. She’s had experience of working with people through various relationship, emotional, and mental health challenges.

I thought I’d glean some of her wisdom, and share it here on the Hub blog as part of our month raising awareness of relationship issues.

So Laura, tell us a bit about your background…

I trained as a midwife in 2013 and I’ve worked in all disciplines – antenatal, delivery suite, postnatal, and I’ve specialised in perinatal* mental health. After training as a midwife, I volunteered for Mercy UK for about 18 months, helping two pregnant women, who were struggling with mental health problems and low self-esteem.

* if like me, you know nothing about midwifery vocab, ‘perinatal’ means ‘relating to the weeks before or after birth’. New word for the day! 

And what have been you up to more recently?

I’ve been doing mental health coaching in schools, teaching young people about emotional wellbeing and how to have good relationships. As a midwife, I’ve seen the effects that negative sexual experiences can have upon people. I encourage young people to think about their choices. Every choice we make has a consequence, and good choices can lead to good consequences. As a midwife, I saw women suffering from all sorts of negative experiences, but sometimes it felt like I was just sticking on plasters. Now that I’m coaching it’s about doing preventative work.

However, throughout all my work, both as a midwife and a coach, I’ve encouraged people that it’s never too late to change how we choose to live our lives. Don’t let your past define your present, because then it will have an impact on your future.

Why do you do the work you do?

I’ve definitely been going on a journey. Sometimes you don’t always know why you’re doing what you’re doing, but then you look back in retrospect and you can see why God has given you the experiences you’ve had. My past experiences with midwifery have helped me with what I’m doing now.

My work has been about loving people, and I’ve always had a heart for women. I set up ‘Sanctuary’, a women’s outreach ministry at my church, St Mark’s, and also ‘Ready Steady Mums’, a postnatal walking group, where mums (and dads) take a walk round the Stray and then head to St Marks for teas and coffees afterwards.

As a midwife, I’ve worked with social services to help women in abusive relationships and helped dysfunctional families build relationships through family group conferences. I want to speak for truth and justice, helping people to get rid of the lies that have been spoken over them, and speaking up for people who can’t speak up for themselves, whether that’s women who have been trafficked, suffered domestic abuse or experienced other trauma. There are some verses in the Bible (Isaiah 61) that are about binding up the broken-hearted and setting the captives free. That’s become a real mantra for me. I want to help people live out their full potential.

What kinds of advice do you give to people about relationships?

Recently, I’ve particularly been giving advice to parents. I’ve got involved with a new project, myLifePool Harrogate. We support the well-being of mothers and fathers through the journey of parenting. Postnatal and prenatal depression is a common issue that affects relationships, and it’s not just mothers who struggle with this.

About 1 in 10 men suffer from postnatal depression, but usually it’s hidden. It’s often the case that the father will suddenly have a meltdown about 3 months after the child’s birth. We want to support parents through struggles like this so that they don’t feel lonely or excluded.

We spend 25% of the time talking about the relationships between the parents. It’s not ‘fluffy’ stuff like some people might think, it’s really important. If the parents’ relationship is good and healthy, everything else falls into place – otherwise it can all come tumbling down. We talk quite a lot about love languages, which is all about how we connect with each other and how we express the value we see in the other person.

With all relationships, I would say that communication is really important, and also finding help and support. And that’s where places like the Harrogate Hub come in. It’s so important to find support when you’re facing challenges in your relationships.


If you’re struggling in any of your relationships at the moment and need someone to talk to, please call in to the Hub.

We’re here to listen and offer non-judgemental support. You will receive kindness and love. We will walk alongside you through your challenges and make sure that you get the support you need.

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Domestic and Sexual Abuse happens in Harrogate – join in the conversation

This month, we’re starting a conversation about domestic abuse and relationship issues. February marks Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence Awareness week, beginning today and ending on the 11th February.

Domestic abuse and sexual abuse happens to people you may know or walk past everyday. It happens in Harrogate. It may have happened to you. It’s time to start talking about what is acceptable when it comes to relationships and sexual violence and how the Harrogate Hub can help.

Domestic violence is a type of abuse that can be physical, emotional, mental as well as sexual. Whilst many of us may be celebrating Valentine’s Day with our loved ones this month, there are others in our town whose relationships aren’t all what they seem to be on the outside.

In fact, it is estimated that 150-200 people per month seek support for domestic abuse in Harrogate.

This is where the awareness week comes in.

Single, or in a relationship; or like me, in a happy, loving and respectful relationship, it can be hard to believe that anyone could ever be abusive in a partnership.

Sometimes people might not know it themselves.

As I was scrolling through twitter last week, I saw these tweets from West Yorkshire police, which really got me thinking:

Domestic abuse isn’t always obvious.

It can often start with subtle actions from a partner like text messages or controlling behaviour.  Often those abused don’t notice the signs at first.

These subtle actions can escalate. In some cases, they can escalate so much that for some women there is no escape; 2 women in England and Wales die because of domestic abuse on average each week, according to Homicide Statistics.

It’s not just women who suffer but as seen in the tweet above, 1 in 6 men experience some form of abuse within a relationship.

It’s important to notice the signs. You may feel afraid of your partner or feel like they’re always criticising you. Perhaps you’re too embarrassed to mention these feelings to friends or family.

At the Hub we are here to help those who feel they’ve got nowhere to turn.

We help by listening and offering support, and we can signpost to IDAS, the Independent Domestic Abuse Services.

We can help you through the process of getting in touch with IDAS or other specialist services, and we will continue to offer our support – we won’t withdraw our help once we’ve signposted you. We’ll continue to walk alongside you on your journey for as long as you want.

Speaking about the new Domestic Abuse Awareness Campaign on North Yorkshire Police’s website, Sarah Hill, Director at IDAS said:

“IDAS are delighted to be able to launch a new awareness campaign with the support of the OPCC and NYP.  Over the next 6 months, the campaign will provide a range of information about domestic abuse and about the services available for victims of abuse.

For every person who reports or seeks help because of abuse, four more people do not report or access any support or help at all.  

This campaign will reach out to those people and help them access services and support when they need it.  This will increase reporting, reduce risk and help more people live a life that is free from harm and violence.”

If you or anyone you know in Harrogate show any signs of being a victim of domestic abuse, please get in touch with the Harrogate Hub or IDAS. Or if you are experiencing or have experienced sexual abuse, please don’t stay silent. You can call us during our open hours on 01423 369393  or drop in to our welcome centre on 39 Oxford Street, Mondays-Fridays, 10-12 noon, and Mondays-Thursdays, 2-4pm.

Abusive behaviour is not ok, but it’s definitely ok to talk about it.

Follow the hashtag #itsnotok to read other people’s stories.

———–

Check out this site for more helpful guidance:

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm

 

 

Written by Rachel Williams

Edited by Ella Green

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